Stephen Fry is in the building

Stephen Fry is in our country!

This may be less exciting to those of you who a) don't know who he is or b) don't care about him, but to me, this is a very exciting event.

He will do two talks in the Sydney Opera House, and then move on to Melbourne.

It would be more exciting, however, if I was allowed to actually see any of these talks.

No, despite my various attempts, I can find no one who is willing to either drive me to either of these cities, or lend me their car so I can drive myself. It's tragic, it really is.

I can't understand why Stephen Fry wouldn't want to visit our fair city. For a start, the weather. I mean, it's just as warm as either Sydney or Melbourne. It may be winter, but that doesn't mean it's not sunny. Today Aviator actually brought a fold-up beach chair into school. There were we, happily sitting on the grass, concrete, and benches respectively, when he wanders in holding a green chair, calmly unfolds it, and sits down. Admittedly he wasn't sitting on it for very long - it was stolen from him twice before lunch ended - but the fact that he was able to do this should surely show that it is warm enough.

I suppose Stephen Fry might be worried not enough people would turn up. Makes sense, really. Of all my friends, I'm the only one who really likes Stephen Fry. Except for Marie-Clare, who finds him attractive (although I doubt anything will come of it, considering the esteemed Mr Fry is both 35 years older than her, and gay).

So I'm just going to have to console myself with looking at the pictures of his trip he chooses to post on his website (link here, if you're interested: http://www.stephenfry.com/).

Speaking of British comedians - or rather, writing of British comedians - or rather, typing of British comedians (I don't know, it's too confusing), I recently found a funny, funny ad on YouTube. It's for the English 'Get a Mac' campaign. It's got the duo Mitchell & Webb in it - Mitchell is being a PC, and Webb is being a Mac. You may not find it as amusing as I do. You may think it only deserves one 'funny'. You may not even think it worthy of that. However, for those of you that are interested (for all those I spoke to about it today, it's called 'The Naughty Step'), the video is here:

Have fun. I would be concerned that I am brainwashing the minds of people that read this blog, by encouraging them to view Mac adverts, except I've watched it four times now, and all that's happened is I'm now tempted to buy a PC. And I've been a Mac user all my life. Clearly Apple needs to work on their advertising.

Still, who needs Stephen Fry when my ordinary life is so interesting? People of the internet, I so far have reason to believe that schoolitis is not fatal. Should this turn out to be otherwise, however, I have some information I would like to impart to you. It would be a shame if it was lost to the world.

It is a secret, the like of which has not been heard of before, and is unlikely to be heard of again. It is a control word. And the thing this word controls is Peanut.

Peanut may appear to be as any other person - give or take a few eccentricities - but she has a weakness. Say the word 'tubes' to her, and she will collapse with laughter. I don't know why it works. Well, I know why she finds it funny (it's hard to explain: it's the result of an in-joke we started two years ago), but I'm not sure why it works so well. I tried it three times today, and each time, a success. Try it. It's fun and entertaining.

I'd like to think that by sharing this information I have, in my own small way, made the world a better place. Let's be honest. I haven't. But come on, people. Isn't it enough that Stephen Fry is in the same country as me, but not within my reach? Haven't I suffered enough?

And Stephen Fry, if you're reading this (unlikely as that is), visit. Who needs the Sydney Opera House when you can come here and control Peanut? It's the obvious choice.